Compiled From Animaniacs
"Merlin's spellbook contains the power of the universe. ... With the help of the spellbook, we will use Merlin's magic to control of the world!"
- Win Big:
"Once we construct a superconductive magnetic Infindibulator, the world will be ours! ... By using the infindibulator to deplete hydrogen and promote gravitational collapse, we will produce a magnetic charge from the center of the Earth so strong that every person who has loose change in their pockets will be magnetically drawn to the ground and stuck there!"
- Bubba Bo Bob Brain:
"I shall use subliminal mind control to take over the world .... [A subliminal message] is a recorded message perceived only be the subconcious human mind. I have recorded such a message. [The message is:] Citizens of the world. You are under my control. You will do whatever I say! ... If people heard this message enough times, they would succum to tmy control and we could take over the world ... the only problem: how to get his message repeated worldwide airplay ... Country music! ... I will go to Nashville and become the biggest country music star of all time. Everyone will hear my record and my subliminal message and I will take over the world!
- Meet John Brain:
"Tonight ... we will play the world's game. ... the world's game is politics and I plan to win this game by running for President. Once I'm ensconced in the White House, I will take over the world!"
- The Helpinki Formula:
"The formula is complete! ... With this formula, our relative smallness will no longer be an obstacle to our domination of the Earth. Behold! ... I will use the formula to make every single person on Earth shorter than I. ... Problem is, how can I convince every in the world to use something they don't need in any conceivable way ... [Brain observes Pinky order an item from an informercial.] Yes, of course! ... We'll do our own informercial!"
- Battle for the Planet:
"Halloween ... 1938. The Mercury Radio Theater presented an adaptation of H.G. Wells' The War of the Worlds that was so realistic, people actually fled the cities believing that creatures from Mars were attacking the Earth. It proved that radio was a powerful tool and now the advanceof technology has brought us an event more powerful tool ... Television is our new tool. We will pirate the airwaves and stage a hoax like The War of the Worlds ... we will scare the people of the cities leaving no resistance behind. We will have taken over the world!"
- Jockey For Position:
"When I build my Reverse Geotropic Arrestor ... and throw it from the North Pole ... in a matter of seconds, the cable will become taut, gravity will cease, and everyone will fly off the face of the Earth. Leaving us alone to assume control!"
- Pavlov's Mice:
"Behold my latest invention, the Vacuumilator! It uses reverse air pressure to vacuum everything toward it .... We are going to use the Vacuumilator to steal Russia's crown jewels!"
- Where Rodents Dare:
[Reporter:] "Tommorrow in the Swiss Alps, the international peace summit will bring present and former world leaders together in one room... " [Brain:] "He who controls that room controls the world! And we... shall control that room ...with my Catylistic Immobilizer! ... It will freeze the world's leaders for 24 hours and we'll take over. Supreme rule we be ... mine!
- When Mice Ruled The Earth:
[H.G. Wells finishes his book The Time Machine ] "By utilizing the invisible forces of nature, we shall make this time machine work... with this. This paper clip will serve as an antenna grabbing neutrinos from the cosmos and providing ignition for this craft... but first, we shall travel back to the primordial era, alter the course of evolution, and then return to the present to world not dominated by humans, but by mice, and they shall choose me as their leader."
- Puppet Rulers:
"With this cryogenic capsule, we shall freeze ourselves and reawaken 40 years in the future. ... We shall become characters on that insipid puppet show [Meany and Treacle]. I will endear myself in the hearts of the children, then we shall freeze ourselves for 40 years. And when we thaw out, those children will be the leaders of the world, and they will adore me! Making it simple to take over the world!"
- Brain Meets Brawn:
"British are fanatical about tea time, everything stops when Big Ben strikes four. Therefore, if I can stop stop that clock at precisely 4 P.M., it will cause infinite tea time, allowing us to take over the British Empire, and then the world! [Brain drinks the Jekyll/Hyde formula and figures out how to control the reaction.] Once we enter Big Ben, I'll use my physical prowess to stop the center wheel while you dislodge to pallet and disrupt the intrinsic mechanism."
- Cranial Crusader:
[Television reporter notes the Caped Opposum has caught every villian except archfiend Johnny Badnote] "I shall become a costumed crimefighting hero and thwart Johnny Badnote, overshadowing the Caped Opossum, then I will use the superhero's fame and forum to rule the world!"
- Opportunity Knox:
[Brain demonstrates his sneezing pollen.] "Do you realize what we will do with this pollen? ... We shall do no less than go to Fort Knox, Kentucky, keeper of the nation's gold supply. There, we will expose the guards to our pollen. And while they're sneezing uncontrollably, we'll move into the vault and take the gold. For he who controls this nation's capital, controls the nation."
- Don't Tread On Us:
"We shall surreptitiously replace their 'Declaration of Independance' with ... the 'Declaration of Obiedience'. [quoting from the document] We hold these truths to be self-evident that a mouse named Brain shall be our leader."
- Hercules Unwound:
[It is noted that Zeus' lightning bolt equals unlimitied power] "And we ... shall steal Zeus's lighning bolt, overthrow his kingdom, and then take over the world!"
- In The Garden Of Mindy:
"Using the gardener's weed killer, some manure, and a little Zoysia grass, I will contruct a powerful stink bomb. We'll use the lawn mower engine to construct a rocket and fill it with the gas. When precisely launched, the prevailing winds will spread the gas across the world's capitols. As the stench drives government officials out into the streets, we will rush in and seize power!"
- Das Mouse:
"We shall receive the aid of legions of unassuming humans...because they will be hypnotized by the secretions of a rare Peruvian Gaokin...after we collect the frog's fluid...we shall mix the floury batter and have a giant pancake jamboree! To be fully powerful we need one more ingredient : the meat of the rare deep water white crab. Massive numbers of white crabs have gathered...in the hull of the Titanic. We must travel to the depths of the ocean and raise the hull of that sorrowful ship!"
- Of Mouse And Man:
"Utilizing satellite technology and these [alligator clips], we will redirect all global telephone communication into an endless voice mail system. Once a person is on the line, the array and the amount of choices will render them occupied, busy, and unable to defend the Earth for a full 72 hours. More than enough time for a well prepared mouse to take over the planet!"
- Tokyo Grows:
"This scientific equipment [used to miniaturize things] will be invaluable for my plan to take over the world .... It's big things that strike fear in to the hearts of humans, like that ridiculous legend of Gollyzilla, mythical folly that directionless humans hang on.... I will alter this equipment and enlarge myself to become a 400 foot tall mouse who'll save the world from Gollyzilla."
- That Smarts:
"I will pose as Jimmy Hoffa, back from vacation. All labor leaders will bow before me, and help me utilize the giant industrial complex to build this: The Forced Vertoconvector. It will create millions of tiny steaming geysers that will actually lift people several inches off the ground, immobilizing them."
"We will program a computer to generate a fantastically popular romance novel. It will contain a hypnophonetic sentence so long and so confusing, the reader will be forced to re-read it endlessly out loud, and the frequencies of those sounds will hypnotize all around them, primed for my suggestion that I rule the world."
- Pinky & The Fog:
"I have almost completed honing my rapier keen mental abilities...for now I have the power, for I am The Fog!...by altering the frequencies of my voice, I am able to befog men's minds...with these [uses two fingers to draw down the corners of his mouth] In a moment, you will no longer be able to see me, for I am The Fog...now if only I could conceive of a method of how to use this power on millions of people at once...the radio, of cource!...we will sneak into the radio station, taking the place of the mist, so I can broadcast my genuine mental powers to millions of listners, befogging their minds, until they make me their leader.
- Where No Mouse Has Gone Before:
"Did you see that plaque, Pinky? ...that plaque displays representations of man, woman, and the rudiments of earth's most sophisticated science. It's being sent on a probe to the outermost extremities of the galaxy, along with a disc showing arts and music. If aliens look upon it, they will learn everything they need to know about the dominant species on earth... If I put myself on that plaque, the aliens will recognize me as Earth's leader!"
"Tonight, we shall use the power of static electricity to conquer the world. Observe... [Brain generates some static electricity, then touches Pinky shocking them both.] To generate global static cling, we shall construct a massive clothes dryer. Unfortunately, [it will] cost $14 billion and 59 cents."
- TV or Not TV:
"The key to the power of attraction...a winning smile. I am taking this idea ... to a new level...the Great Capitulator! By manipulating adhesive qualities of polymer based alkalines and calciumetric bases, we can synthesize a resinous cladding for the foremost bone-like structures rooted in my jaw socket...[in other words] dentures! The reflective vibrations of my smile stimulate the medulla oblongata, causing the viewer to adore me for no good reason...ergo, instant celebrity...Once the world views my happy grin, they will be our willing followers...but first, we need mass exposure...we shall use a weapon of great stealth, power, and corruption: our own sitcom!
- Napoleon Brainaparte:
"When Napoleon returns to Paris, all of France will celebrate with rich heavy meals, topped off with the country's most popular desert: crepe suzette. And as part of tonight's plan...I have altered the recipe for crepe suzette to make it highly explosive by adding one more ingredient...The secret ingredient is nutmeg! ...as crepes are lit all over the country the resultant fiery chaos will provide us with ample time to seize control!"
"In tonight's plan ... we delve head first into the superstitous nature of mankind....we shall use a device that plays on the fears on even the most skeptical of souls, behold [a chain letter]! ... [Brain holds up a chain letter with a message at the botton written in reverse: "You will bow before the Brain."] ... The right side of the brain will subconsiously register this message, thus planting the seed for ultimate conquest...world domination! ... After the initial mailing, the superstitous humans will quickly spread the chain and my message across the globe!
- A Pinky And The Brain Christmas:
[Brain demonstrates his hypnotic doll] "Behold, Noodle Noggin! Capable of hypnotizing humans, it shall bring us the world! My plan ... is to get a Noodle Noggin doll in to every home on the planet. Then on Christmas Day, we broadcast my hypnotic suggestion to the world ... my message of world domination, that I shall be their ruler! My only problem is I need one billion Noodle Noggin dolls ... Santa's workshop is the most productive manufacturing facility in the world. ... We'll get jobs at the North Pole and have the unwitting elves make the dolls for us and then ... Santa himself will distribute our doll to every house, hovel, and hut in the land!
- Around The World In 80 Narfs:
Fact: With the ever increasing global domination of the British Empire, the surest way to rule the world is to become Prime Minister.<BR>;Fact:; Every Prime Minister for the last 200 years has first been president of the Pompous Explorers Club.<BR>;Fact:; The Pompous Explorers Club will give its presidency to anyone who can circle the globe 80 days.<BR>We must circle the glove in less than 80 days, claim the club presidency, and then the world!
"Using my own patented Jimmy Brain technique, I've already succeeded in purchasing, with no money down, every apartment, condo, and office space on the planet above the 39th floor."
- Ambulatory Abe:
"Abe Lincoln was perhaps the most respected President of all time. Once we arrange his come back, the mere site of him will compel the populace to follow his lead. Not the real Lincoln, but an icon beyond reproach: this granite statue of Mr. Lincoln. I shall borrow a page from the immortal Edgar Bergen [ and retrofit ] the statue's jaw for ventriloquilism to my voice."
- Mouse Of La Mancha:
"If we stop the windmills from making flour for bread, we'll bring the humans to their knees. Then as they grovel for food and power, we'll take over the world!"
- The Third Mouse:
"If we drain the Blue Danube, it will bring shipping to a standstill and I could rise to power in the ensuing chaos!"
- The Visit:
"The normal field mice that we capture will bring a special talent to our plan of global domintaion ... Field mice are instinctual experts in nighttime navigation. Once captured, we will unlock and clone their DNA codes of night vision and give ourselves a super ability to see in the dark. Then, we will cause a world wide power outage and seize control in the darkness!"
- It's Only A Paper World:
"We shall construct an exact replica of Mother Earth out of paper mache, then lure all of civilization to this new terra not so firma rendering us the sole inhabitants of the real Earth!"
- Collect 'Em All:
"Trading Cards! I will print cards with my image, Pinky. Soon, children all over Eurpoe will be collecting them. I'll become so famous that I'll be elected ruler by acclimation."
"We shall fire a rocket carrying billions of tiny self-adhesive mirrors at the moon. Upon detonation, the mirrors will cover the entire surface of the orb, thus creating a gigantic disco mirror ball. As humanity spends its every waking moment 'dancing the night away', we shall seize the planet!"
- Plan Brain From Outer Space:
"Months of interstellar e-mail has finally brought me to this historic moment .... My new intergalactic pal Zalgar is coming to earth tonight to help me take over the world."
- The Mummy:
Tonight...a terrible curse is set to befall mankind...we are journeying to Egype in the great pyramids at Giza where ancient mummies will soon walk the Earth...In the pyramid deep withing an air shaft...a hidden doorway was recently discovered. Archaelogists have built a tiny robotic probe that will travel up the air shaft and open the secret door revealing its mysteries to the world... those archaelogists will discover behind that door angry pharoahs, disturbed from their eternal slumber...We shall disguise ourselved as the Great King Khufu and his previously unknown brother...George. Once awakened, our wrath will only be appeased by one thing: absolute control of the world!
- Robin Brain:
The average Englishman bathes only once every six years. But soon the malodorous masses will have what they crave most...bath water. We shall construct a massive water heater to deliver hot water throughout the lang... No longer plagued by persistant body odor, the populous will show their thanks by giving me the keys to the kingdom!
- The Pink Candidate:
You [Pinky], heaven help us, will be the next President of the United States! Behine the smoke screen of your presidency, I, as your Chief of Staff, will implement world domination plan 433B .... With our new access to military satellite uplinks, we will jam the frequencies of every radio station with nothing but Kenny G., Yanni, and the soulful spasms of John Tesh...Exposure to these flaccid tonalities will soften the cerebral tissue rendering the entire population our personal slaves!
- Brain's Song:
"We shall produce the saddest tearjearker ever, broadcast the movie worldwide, and leave the planet steaped in such depression, they'll be putty in our hands!" [After the broadcast...] "Now that the world is all weepy, I will call the world's leaders ... [they] will be so despondant from my tearjerker, they will hand us the world on a silver platter!"
- Welcome to the Jungle:
Brain's plan, revealed in his film World Domination Plan MCVIII , involves creating birthday candles that, when extinguished, turn people into Brain's zombified servants.
- Megalomaniacs Anonymous:
... interrupt the flow of electricity... No, no, no! Wait! I'll use electronic oscillations to create a molecular change in liquid hand soap causing everyone's hands to stick together. No, a bandwith of 37 isobars would never penetrate rooms lined with ceramic tile ... It's no good ... I've got to find a plan .... Cooking! That's it! The beginning of man's inexorable advancement toward civilization! ... I'll use thoasands of tiny christmas tree lights to cook all the cans of soda in the world, causing them to explode all at once and ... then what?!
- Brain Of The Future:
"Tonight...we will sneak in to the printing plant of Cosmospolitan magazine and replace their 'Who is your perfect mate?' quiz with this: 'Who is your perfect world leader?' quiz. From split atoms to split ends, the readers will be convinced that my global rule is the answer to their every problem."
"With these multiphasic transrepliclonator pods, I shall create a single clone in my own image. After a modicum of study, I will take a new sample from the prototype and make two more clones, then they'll make two clones, and they'll make two clones, and so on, and so on ... Thoasands of me, all working toward the same goal ... taking over the world!"
- Two Mice And A Baby:
[The baby Superman is flying around with the spaceship.] "...Imagine what we can do with a child with those powers? ... This baby is our ticket to global domination ... We'll stop for supplies and head back to the lab and train him."
- The Maze:
"The moment we've been waiting for is nearly upon us ... the harmonic convergence. ... The harmonic convergance is a precise alignment of planets and stars which occurs but once every 5 billion, 352 million, and 99.7 years. ... Now, the convergance will cause a gravitational flux throughout the entire Earth which will in turn trigger an inner ear imbalance in mankind. This will render them suseptible to the power of suggestion for precisely 15 seconds. ... Fortunately, I am poised to take advantage of this once in a millennium moment of vunerability. I have obtained this rare prototype dilithium matrix chip. ... It goes with this ... the first subsonic transmitter which will broadcast my message of total subjucation to the disoriented masses. "
- Hoop Schemes:
"We shall join the National Basketball Association and become B-ball legends. Once we have endeared ourselved to the masses, people will follow our every command, allowing us to take over the world!"
- A Little Off The Top:
[Pinky notes how strong Sampson is] He is, Pinky. Imagine if a mouse were that strong...Don't you see...if I had Sampson's strength, nothing would stop my quest to take over the world!
- Leave It To Beavers:
"As I activate this remote control, the cathode ray gun of the picture tube will fire photons at the television screen, exciting the radium particles in the watch dial, causing a mutating effect on your genes. ... You are evolving into a new species, destined to help me take over the world!"
"With your new skill, the entire beaver population can be at my command. We'll dam the rivers, control the waterways, and flood the cities!"
"We shall make motion pictures that tell of courage, of heroism, of a certain rodent destined to rule the world. Because human beings are incapable of distinguishing between reality and the filmed image, they will embrace me as a great leader."
- This Old Mouse:
[Using my future predicting equations] "these headsets will allow us to visit the virtual future where one of my plans have succeeded and I am ruling the world. Once we broadcast a tape of the future, the world will see how perfect life will be under my rule and gladly surrender now."
- Pinky & The Brain And... Larry:
"With this device [the synchronoclastic remote controller], I shall be able to control every remote controller in the country. [Pinky wonders if it will be able to control all of the garage door openers too. Brain replies...] With just a few modifications, it could! [After some interjections, Brain continues...] With everyone's cars locked in their garages, they'll be forced to use bicycles, crippling the petroleum industry and bringing the world to its knees. "
- Where The Deer And The Mousealopes Play:
"With tonight's plan, we shall confuse humanity into submission... by stranding them in hopeless mental and physical gridlock through the use of 3-D 'magic eye' technology." [After a demonstration, Brain continues...] "The cryptic genius of my plan is that hidden in this poster is no secret message of any kind whatsoever. We shall construct a series of magic eye billboards, 3 miles high and 11 miles wide over the nation's freeways. As the confounded commuters struggle in vain to decipher the nonexistant messages, they will become stranded in a never ending rush hour. Thus, giving us an opportunity to seize power."
- My Feldmans, My Friends:
"Once we complete this tower, every radio will be forcibly tuned to one radio station, KBRAIN. ... Tonight... I shall deliver a fireside chat so chock full of persuasive propaganda, the cradle of humanity will hail me as the 'greater communicator'."
- Brain Noir:
"Behold the instrument of our conquest: [the Fedor-A-Matic]. We shall divert the flow of the Los Angeles municiplewater supply into a gigantic version of this mockup. [Brain demonstrates the mockup by shrinking Pinky's hat.] The more likely reaction will be panic and utter chaos. With the populace trapped in their hats, we shall seize Los Angeles and then Pamona!"
- Funny, You Don't Look Rhennish:
"We're off to Minnesota... According to this geological survey, one of the richest untapped mines of sinusite in the known world is located there.... Sinusite is a rock crystal which, in pulvurized form, is purveyed in gag stores around the world under the name of sneezing powder.... We shall unearth huge quantities of sinusite and disperse it throughout the globe using the world's most powerful fan [the jet stream? -Mark]. While the populace is racked with a sneezing fit, I'll have more than enough time to take over the world!"
- Mice Don't Dance:
"I will tap out a subliminal word domination message in Morse code, using a pair of tap dancing legs of my own creation ... Our venue, the 1939 New York World's Fair. Where the world will come to see the future, and the future will be yours truly!"
- Brain Drained:
"Lemon Marange Pie ... a tangy tantalizing confection which is the perfect shield for my hypnotic sugar substitute Nutra Brain, patent pending. Once injested, it will render humans incapable of coherent thought, and I..."
"We shall infiltrate the Publisher's Cleaninghouse sweepstakes officies by posing as Ed MacMahon and his sidekick Dick Clark. Once inside the offices, we shall reprogram the computer systems to place a backward subliminal message in every mail that goes across the..."
"We shall hire would-be screenwriters to formulate dozens of original plans which we shall then claim as our own and use as we see fit."
- Brain's Bogie:
"I shall simply tattoo the words 'Property Of Brain' on a discreet area of the Earth. Thus shall it be forever mine."
- Say What, Earth?:
"With [the Silitronlinguifactor], I can rule the Earth. Forgive the following New Age babble, but every inanimate contains its own unique energy, its very own unique aura. The Silitronlinguifactor will interpret this energy for us, and bring said objects to life."
- All You Need Is Narf:
"I call my new invention: the lava lamp. People will be infatuated by the colorful lava-like matter it spews. As they look on in stupified awe, every room will fill with our ersatz lava which will then harden and trap the public. With the masses unable to move, I will step in and take over the world!"
- Brain Acres:
"Tonight...we shall unlock the mystery of life. ... The storm is at its peak... We shall harness its energy to breathe life into yon insentient form. .... For as you awake, so shall the sun dawn on a new age. An age in which I shall rule the world! Give me the spark of life!"
"By adapting my machinery from the lab, I have constructed the Vegatron. With this new improved version, I can create fierce threatening vegatables, unlike Maurice, to frighten the unsuspecting populace into submission so I can take over the world. ... This time, I have selected the common eggplant."
"Our problem is solved! I have developed a fertilizer that will grow our vegetables to gargantiun proportions. ... Never again will by herbacius helpers be ignored. I call my concoction Braindini. A select blend of chloraphyll, performance enhancing steroids, cattle droppings [and a pudding snack]. Now we must buy a humble plot of bottom land, where we shall sow the seeds of victory. We shall travel to middle America, where we will purchase a repossed farm with this [2 million dollor] government subsidy check."
- The Pinky Protocol:
"I will create my own conspiracy theory. I shall fabricate a wild and improbable story in order to convice the public that I am the victim of an hidden plot whose sole purpose is to prevent me from taking my rightful place as ruler of the world."
- Brain Storm:
"We will hijack a tornado scientifically, creating an ambulatory weather system of unstoppable might. People will bow before us in awe and we shall rule the world! ... We ... then travel to tornado alley. There we shall find a cyclone and ride it to our destiny!"
- The Real Life:
"I hold in my hand the only remaining [record] of radio host Rush Limbaugh's failed singing career in the 1970s. ... The contents of this record are extremely dangerous. ... It'll experience it's full impact only when we arrive in Cleveland. The heart of residential Cleveland ... is where , according to my research, the optimal electromagnetic field currently hovers. There I will construct a giant FM antenna, to broadcast Rush Limbaugh's acapella version of "Dream Weaver" throughout the planet 24 hours a day. ... I'll be driving them to the brink of insanity, thereby providing myself the time I need to take over the world! [After arriving in Cleveland...] Now we shall join the cast of 'The Real Life' blending in amongst an artificially assembled household full of pesky misfits and wannabees. ... We'll be using them as stepping stones in my ruthless quest to satisfy my bloodlust for power."
- Pinky And The Brainmaker:
"Do you realize what this gemination will bring us? It will give us enough clones to take over the world! Now observe while I used this photograph of myself and create the first clone. ... He moves just like me. ... I will create the world's most beloved Celtic dance group."
- Calvin Brain:
[This commercial is ] "my skillful adaptation of the latest in subtle advertising techniques. A commercial designed to convince an unsophisticated public that my new perfume will give them what they most desire. ... That exotic, mystic, alluring thing that everyone seek from a perfume. ... What they will actually devine is a secret mind control formula. I have isolated a precise combination of phermones that stimulate certain subperiatal receptor cells rendering the human brain submissive to the exact frequencies of my voices. This perfume will make its wearer obey my every command, allowing me to take over the world."
- Pinky Suavo:
"By feeding pictures and bios of charasmatic celebrities into the Personalitron, I shall extract the traits that made these people so magnetic. The undiluted machismo of John Wayne, the dynamic sensuality of Valentino, the sensitivity of actors' actor Tony Randall. After I transfer each winning personality trait to me, the entire world will beg to bow before me, their charismatic despot." [When Pinky gets 'personified' instead...] "We shall use your magnetic qualities to entrance the populace. Once they're under your spell, you can tell them to elect me world leader."
T H E Y - the horde of ecumenical yodelers..... Their name is but an innocent sounding smokescreen to divert attention from their true purpose, to rule the Earth. T.H.E.Y. are actually an ultra secret clandestine society of world leaders. ... Their membership roster is a virtual who's who of Earth's most powerful. Tonight, two new names will be added to this elite list...us . Once we are members of T.H.E.Y., we shall gain entrance to their secret vault, where they keep everything you need everything to know to rule the world.
- Brain's Way:
"My little impromptu concert [was a test of] my latest invention: Brainophonic sound. We shall place a pair of gigantic stereo speakers on the North and South poles of the Earth.... Once our speakers are in place, we shall broadcast the incessant sound of a dripping faucet across the globe. Unable to comprehend the source of the sound, the populace will be driven temporarily mad and we shall seize the planet."
- Briany Jack:
"I shall become Brainy Jack, defender of hippies, gaining the trust and admiration of yound people everywhere. Thus earning the opportunity to use them, like so many hygenically challenged hand tools, in my greatest plan yet. ... here it is, plan 462B, the amazing chain of electric teeth. Modern dentistry ... has provided a boon to subliminal broadcasters everywhere. Under the proper electrostatic conditions, the metal alloys in dental work can receive radio signals. My plan is to get all of America's young people to link hands at a specific time while my transponder is broadcasting a low frequency message of world domination. Then, by rubbing my feet on a small square Herculon carpet while simultaneously holding a door knob, I will send a static electric charge through this motley human chain, causing them to receive my secret message on their dental work so they absorb it subliminaly."
- Broadway Malady:
"I will add one simple little word to the label on every shampoo bottle in the world. The directions will now read: repeat endlessly. Then, while everyone in the world is lathering themselves to oblivion, I will rise to power."
- But, That's Not All Folks!:
"Our plan will unfold in less than one-half hour. ... If you'll notice, those wires I've hooked up to the lab's surveilance camera run to a powerful 40 megawatt uplink. ... with which I've located and stealthily tapped into an abandoned CM2000 satellite orbiting our globe. ... This idle transmitter was yesterday but a floating piece of space flotsam. But now it is a workhorse, broadcasting my infomercial to every man, woman, and child, reaching the Earth's population as we speak.... I've compiled the ultimate list of advertising phrases. No one viewing this informercial will be able to resist making a purchase." [Later...] "Using my own modification of Caller-Id technology, I have set up this massive computer to automatically answer the phone and store each caller's specifics. .... The important puzzle piece of this plan ... is to get everyone's address. ... Then we shall overload the global postal system, choking every single PO box and mail slot with gross amounts of junk mail. The useless of it all will surely drive everyone mad. But I shall be the savior." [Brain's fantasy as savior...] "Put me in charge of your world, and I promise to remove each and every one's name from all junk mail lists" [Brain continues...] "Jumping at the opportunity, people will only realize, too late, that I'm their new, ever powerful, and unimpeachable leader."
- Leggo My Ego:
We've come to Vienna to see the great hypnotizing psychiatrist Dr. Sigmund Freud. ... My appointment with Dr. Freud is only a ruse. When he tries to hypnotize me, I will use a pair of mirrored glasses and to reverse the process thereby hypnotizing Freud himself. ... All Vienna knows that the Emporer Franz Josef is being treated by Freud for depression. When Freud is under my spell, I will order him to hypnotize the Emporer into giving me, the Brain, his right to the Imperial throne. Allowing me to take over the world!
- Big in Japan:
"This is the Phineas Gipponicus commonly known in Japan as Mugu. One bite of its tail renders anyone who eats it unable to move for 24 hours. ... I will capture a pair of Mugu, breed them, and market the tails throughout the world as 'Cappy Brain's Frozen Fish Sticks'. While the populace is immobilized, I shall implement my plan of world domination! ... There's only one catch ... The gipponicus is so rare that the only known specimans are those bred in captivity for the dining pleasure of Japan's elite sumo wrestlers. ... I plan to become on of Japan's most elite sumo wrestlers. ... I have modified my suit to fit the precise specifications of a champion sumo wrestler. With the adjustments I've made, I'll be able to flip a 600 pound man."
- Operation Sea Lion:
I must finish this sea lion dictionary. It's our key to world domination. Using Winny and my command of the sea lion language. We shall recruit a vast army of aquatic mammals. Since most of the world's oil travels by sea, we shall blockade all harbors and ports and disable oil tankers by tangling their propellors with sea weed. No one will be able to attack our sea army because they look so darn cute. Energy supplies will be disrupted and I will be absolute ruler. My first act will be to free all aquatic mammal prisoners.
- You Said A Mouseful:
This is the Axis Shiftatron a device that shifts the Earth's axis by one millionth of a percent causing a shift in weather patterns resulting in one less day of rain eveywhere in the world except for Los Angeles. Even that tiny change in weather patterns will have a catastrophic effort on coffee bean effects. This will force everyone to switch to tea drinking. ... And this ray will destroy every tea bag in the world except mine. As the owner of the world's only tea bag world, I will rise to prominence. ... The only way the Axis Shiftatron can successfully change the Earth's axis is if the Earth suddenly loses weight.
- Bah, Wilderness:
Camp Davey, a sleep away camp for the children of the visiting world leaders. ... I will get us jobs as craft counselors at Camp Davey, and have each camper make a log pencil holder for each world leader parent. Each one will contain a microscopic listening device attatched by yours truly. ... Eavesdropping on the world's leaders will provide me with the information I need to take over the world.
- Pinky At The Bat:
"This [leather repellant] spray is part of my most ambitious plan for world domination..." "Once people are exposed to the formula, they will be unable to touch their wallets rendering them incapable of spending money." "Economies around the globe will fail. As chaos insues, I will rise to power. By releasing a concentrated amount of leather repellant high into the atmosphere at the instant atmospheric conditions and wind patterns are right, the mist will be blown to the far reaches of the globe. According to my calculations, the spray must be released at exactly 10 P.M. on October 2 from this precise point: the pitcher's mound of the New Hampshire Pineapple stadium. In order to do that, we shall become star players of this expansion team."
- Schpiel-borg 2000:
"This is my greated technological masterpiece, the Schpiel-borg 2000. I spared no expense. [This machine] is actually an extremely advanced cybernetic clone of one of Hollywood's most powerful figures [ Steven Spielberg]. And if his box office numbers are any indication, he has the potential to become ruler of the world. ... After swapping places with the real Steven Spielberg, I will rise to power in the Schpiel-borg 2000 and take over the world.
- Brainie The Poo:
"People in today's body concious society are obsessed with losing weight. My plan is to secretly replace all the artificial sweeteners with real ones. Thus, rendering the world's population fat, slow moving, and completely toothless." "I know the location of a veritable Fort Knox of honey, right here in Acme Woods."
- Melancholy Brain:
"First Denmark, Pinky, then all of Scandinavia! I will begin my plan for world domination by opening large stores filled with flimsy, impossible to assemble wooden furniture. Frustrated millions, their minds weakened by years of following nonsensical instructions, will automatically follow these instructions:
- Insert Tab B into Slot A
- Insert Tab A into Slot C
- Obey The Brain!
[Brain discusses Hamlet's situation...] King Hamlet, his father, is dead. And his uncle Claudius has married Queen Gertrude, his mother, and is now the king, ursuping Hamlet's place. I shall set one against the other and in the ensuing chaos, I will rise to power."
- Beach Blanket Brain:
"We must endear ourselves to those hormonally challenged teenagers. Once they think that we are the kings of cool, they'll fall at my feet to wear my hypnotic sunscreen: Brain de Soleil, for the smart set. When applied, it will render the unfortunate fools helpless to resist my will and they will do whatever I say!"
- The Family That Poits Together, Narfs Together:
"This is the Sunday crossword puzzle. The most educated people all around the world spend hours each weekend deciphering its complex web of interlocking verbiage. But change just one clue, and the whole puzzle becomes impossible to solve." "I will change one clue in the crossword puzzle in every newspaper around the globe, throwing the intelligentsia into a hopeless dither. While they frantically ripple through their dictionaries and thesauri, I will step into the breach, and take over the world!"
- Inherit The Wheeze:
"Tonight's plan involves space junk." "There are hundreds of discarded satellites orbiting the Earth." "Tonight, as the discarded satellites pass within mere miles of each other, I will manipulate the world's largest magnet to move them into position spelling out 'Brain is your ruler'."
"Cigarettes are ruining lots of people's lives. That tobacco executive stole the test results that prove that prove once and for all that cigarettes are addictive. If I could find those results, and show them to the world, I'd be proclaimed a hero."
- The Pinky P.O.V.:
[From what Pinky could understand...] "We will disguise ourselves as grunge rock musicians, take the elevator up to the top of the Space Needle, and plug our amplifiers into the lightning rod." "Once everyone's pants have turned to gelatin, the world will be mine!"
- Brain Food:
"We are going to make everyone on Earth smart. Smart enough to accept me as their leader!"[To make people smart...] "This is an extract of the Medulla Stem Piney Nut. When combined with these other ingredients and then consumed, it can quadruple one's IQ."
- Pinky's Turn:
[After an unsuccessful attempt to steal a valuable jewel...] "Without that jewel, I can't afford the satellite I need to switch the population's clock radios to permanent snooze while I take over the world."
"We will combine your luck and my genius to finish the job of taking over the world! First, you will call another press conference and tell the press you don't like satellites. Thus, lowering the price of satellites to mere pennies. Then, I will customize the satellite so we can relaunch my plan to disable the snooze alarms on every clock radio in the world."
- Your Friend: Global Domination:
[Brain's film is destroyed] "There goes my plan to distribute this film to every school assembly on Earth."
- Dangerous Brains:
"According to the Farmer's Almanac, the Earth will experience a lunar eclipse on June 8th..." "During the lunar eclipse, I shall magnetically harness the moon to the Earth, giving me complete control over its rotation." "I shall control the amount of sunlight the Earth receives at any given time. Once I control the Earth's sunlight, I will become the most powerful being in the Milky Way..." "To succeed in our plan, we must create a superconductive hydromagnetic beam inside that magnetically modified aquatic tank. To create the ultraelectromagnetic induction, I must place millions of tiny magnets at the bottom of the tank. Now each tiny magnet costs 2.5 cents. One million at 2.5 plus tax comes to a total of what? $25,963.13"
- To Russia With Lab Mice:
"By tapping into the computer system of the Joint Council for Economic Development,I arranged for this trip." "Our actual goal, caviar! Gourmet fish eggs! Ours d'ouvre of choice for rich and powerful people the world over" "Using the techniques of the great George Washington Carver, I have found a way to create a hybrid of caviar and peanut butter." "When my hybridized peanut butter is eaten by unsuspecting world leaders at their glittering functions, it will cause their tongues to stick to roofes of their mouths, rendering them harder to understand than Marlin Brando. In the ensuing confusion I will step into the breach, and take over the world."
- Hickory Dickory Bonk:
"I'll make all the clocks chime from here to Japan." "All over the world, clocks will all chime at once. They'll chime and they'll chime, without signs of stopping, folks will plug up their ears to keep them from popping. Then as by moment, by glorious hour, I'll rise to power"
- A Legendary Tail:
"In these books are all the great heroes of the American West: Johnny Appleseed, Pecos Bill, Paul Bunyan." "For I have entered all of these tall tales into the computer along my own vital statistics and programmed it to combine their most heroic elements into one great legend: The legend of me! We shall distribute this legend to libraries and schools all across the country. Then I shall reveal my living breathing self to universal acclaim and assume my position as leader of the world."
- The Pinky And The Brain Reunion Special:
"Our pirate broadcast is now visible in every country in the world. Soon everyone on Earth will be watching our reunion special made up of entirely of cleverly edited home movies, computer imaging, and discarded footage from the director's Kevin Branaugh's Hamlet. Then I will broadcast my hypnobeam and the world will be able helpless to resist me."
- Brainwashed Part 1: Brain, Brain, Go Away:
"I have shrunken us to molecular size. We are traveling through an artery inside the human body. ... That thumping is the beating of the heart pumping which is propelling us to our destination: the larynx of folksy radio personality Tom Bodett. ... There I will implant my trachiomatic control chip. ... When middle America hears my plea for submission uttered in Tom's dulcet tones, they will be unable to resist. Allowing me to take over the world!"
- Star Warners:
"I have the plans to the Megastar. Once inside, we will seize control and rule the galaxy!"